One of the best ways to see our self is through our relationships. It is the most effective tool we have for pushing aside the veil of unconscious thoughts by providing us with an up-close look at what is going on inside of us. Once we understand that relationships are mirrors of our internal states of being, they become a powerful tool for expanding our awareness.
In reality, all experiences in our relationships are happening inside of us. We are creating those experiences inside our mind, with our thoughts. The people in our lives are triggers for the inner experiences that we have been having well before those people entered our lives. That is why we repeat the same experiences with di erent people and di erent relationships. By recognizing what shows up within ourselves, we realize they are a reaction of our unconscious patterns. When we expand this awareness, we can actively use our relationships as tools to consciously transform ourselves and expand our relationships into higher, more magical experiences.
Our Reactions Are the Key to Greater Awareness
It is especially important to recognize our reactions to others. In those reactions, we have the most to learn about ourselves. We react to some people’s behavior because we are unaware of the unconscious patterns that these people show us about ourselves. If we see and react to anger in another person, it is because anger exists within us. It may not be expressed in the same way but, somewhere, in some way, that same pattern exists within us. The closer the relationship, the more powerful the mirror is that ampli es our internal states.
When we realize that relationships are just mirrors that reflect our internal self, how can we blame anyone or anything outside of ourselves? When we realize they are reflections of what lives inside of us, this can help us recognize and heal old patterns. We often blame others for not meeting our needs when the one not meeting our needs is us. It is not reasonable to think that someone else can give us what is lacking within when we are the only ones capable of uncovering the patterns running our life. When we do the work necessary to bring these patterns into our awareness and reprogram them, we will have a more fulfilling life experience.
This practice brings a new level of accountability, with a greater level of empowerment, because we experience the truth—that we are the only ones in control of our experience. No one controls the thoughts in our mind except us.
As human beings, we all are driven to connect with each other and to do it in a way that does not bring suffering into our lives and others, it is crucial to connect through our higher states (love, joy, compassion, and inspiration) instead of the negative states of fear, anger, survival, and control. In order to do this, it requires taking the time and effort to recognize and “own” the internal destructive patterns that are in control of our unconscious mind. This is imperative in order to have a spiritual relationship that is mutually fulfilling.
A spiritual relationship is a true partnership, in which each person is supporting the other in happiness, purpose, and fulfillment. Blame and victimhood does not exist in a spiritual relationship that is based in love, kindness, compassion, and creative purpose. In these relationships, two people are serving each other in growth and awareness, and by positive example, end up serving the world at large.
There are three aspects to every relationship: Our part, The Other Person’s Part, and The Relationship Itself. We cannot be responsible for the other person’s part in the relationship, only our part. When we are fully responsible, we can rise above mental patterns, take control of our experiences and learn the true meaning of love. As human beings, our single greatest desire is to love and be loved. I am not describing an emotional, conditional love, but the unconditional life a rming energy exchange existing in every moment of every interaction that we have.
Copyright © 2017 John Longhill – All rights reserved
This article was inspired by the work of Joey Klein and his book The Inner Matrix – A Guide to Transforming Your Life and Awakening Your Spirit
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